Just A Phase
by Suppressedsilence
Summary: Harry is in love with Draco. It’s driving him mad, and he’s soon well past the point of no return. Warnings: HPDM SLASH Lemon warning, sexual mentions, minor femmeslash, character death, violence, and all around inappropriate stuff.
1. Poetry is the ‘hue’ of HUman kind

**_Poetry is the 'hue' of human kind._**

_Hi everybody, although this is also me, you can think of this as Harry's POV. This is a HP/DM Oneshot fic, so obviously it's slash. Possibly some femmeslash too. You'll find out later who that'll be. Also, this story is going to be pretty dark, and some of the chapters are very short. Have fun! _

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I am alone. I am dirty, and wrong, and in love. And I am alone.

The hot, salty moisture screams from behind my lids, threatening to push through. I will them to disappear, waiting, tensing, squeezing them away. My stomach squirms and jolts. Shivers are running up and down my spine, making the hair on my arms stand up. My throat pulses and aches; I swallow, battling the tears, trying not to cry.

You'll never be with him. You'll never be able to touch that soft cheek. Never.

Never.

Never.

Never!

Never!

NEVER!

NEVER!

The words repeat themselves over and over in my mind, getting louder and louder each time. I can't make them stop! I'll go mad before I can ever live to see Draco grow up and be happy. I love Draco when he's mad, he's so damn sexy. I'd love to see him when he's really, purely happy. I could make him happy.

'Yeah by jumping off the astronomy tower.' The little voice in the back of my head says.

I know it's right, but this fantasy is so sweet, I just can't let it slip away.

'But it's so sick.' The voice interrupts again.

I sigh heavily and let the pretty picture dissolve from my mind. It isn't meant to be, me and Draco. It's just wrong. We hate each other, so we can't love each other. Right? I feel dirty and slimy. My skin crawls and I can't breath. I hold my breath for what seems like hours to squash the ache in my chest; until eventually my lungs start freaking out, and my head feels like it's about to roll right off my shoulders, and into my potion beside me.

Snape swishes by and walks up to Draco's desk, two desks away from mine. I steal a glance at Draco while he nods attentively at his head of house. His hand is resting on the handle of stirrer for his cauldron. It's so thin and pale; I can see his vain pulsing just below his thumb. His slender fingers cascade loosely down the long shaft, his perfect fingernails tapping unconsciously on the dark wood.

My eyes wander back up to Draco's face. His brows are creased, in deep thought, and his eye's are blinking up at the chalkboard, carefully reading the next step in the potion. Then they stray up to the ceiling, as he inspects a spider hanging by a short thread. I make a note to keep Ron's attention away from the ceiling.

I hear a nasal voice clearing it's throat in an annoyed fashion next to me. I jump when I see Snape standing over me, and accidentally bump Neville. Neville's leg snaps out and knocks over our cauldron of Stone Splitter Potion. The contents spill all over Snape's leg and burns the hem of his black pants away. Snape's eyes grow angry and he roars and points his wand at the mess, performing a cleaning spell through clenched teeth. His eyes return to their usual icy coldness, and he looks at Neville and says,

"30 points from Gryffindor, for clumsiness and a zero for both of you." Then he turns to me, and says, "And you, Potter, another 20 points from Gryffindor, for bumping into Longbottom, and for not paying attention to your work."

He says the last words with a glare and stomps off to go petrify some other poor student, and I slide down in my seat, and sigh, knowing that in a few days I'll have to deal with this again, and until then, I'll be busy doing all Arithmacy homework the professor assigned us.

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_Thanks for reading my fanfiction. I'm not sure if I'm going to continue or not, but if you think I should end it there, I will. Till next time,_

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	2. A Disconcerting Confrontation

**_A Disconcerting Confrontation_**

_I decided to keep going, so come what may. A lot happens in this chapter. Nothing too inappropriate, but it moves pretty_ _fast. Consider yourself warned. Oh yeah, and I forgot a Disclaimer in the beginning so I'm putting it here. _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. Don't sue me. _

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After a few months of shredded, contracting emotions, unbearable thoughts, pounding headaches, and odd stares and questioning glances from the whole of the school, Harry's emotional cycle had nearly become a routine. Wake up feeling like shit, take a few minutes to convince himself that he had to get out of bed, attempt to ignore his messed up life, fail horribly, go to breakfast, take a bite, decide he's not hungry, get lots of worried glances from his friends, wave them off with a limp and tired hand, go to classes, attempt to stay awake, fail. Then, get detention for falling asleep in class, go to lunch, decide he's not hungry, go to lay down in the dorm, fall asleep, wake up and realize he's late for class, run to class, get detention for being late, go to dinner, avoid eating for fear of throwing up, go to the dorm, drag himself through the homework, get to bed at 3:00 in the morning, and lie in bed sleeping restlessly. And the entire time, try to avoid glancing continuously up at Draco.

Harry was always very good at keeping other peoples secrets, but never his own. He knew that before long, the day would come when he would open his mouth and it would all pour out. That day just happened to be May 5th.

Harry woke up as usual, in pain. His scar was hurting, and he found that he was pulsing in pain on the inside too. He slowly came to realize that his mind was layered in thick oozing walls of pain and depression. He blatantly ignored them as usual. Harry dragged his heavy head from the pillow, and the rest of his spindly body along with it. He shivered convulsively as the cool morning air hit his bare body. Quickly, he grabbed his wand and performed a heating charm to warm the air around him. His shivering body relaxed as the plume of warm air engulfed it. Harry closed his eyes with a sigh.

'That's better.' He thought to himself.

Harry walked his stark naked body over to his trunk, and rustled through the mess of papers and books to get to his tangled lump of clothes below. Pulling out his favorite worn pair of jeans, his mind decided to switch to depression overdrive. As Harry was enlightened on how much of a mess his life was, his chest began to ache. He couldn't breath, and his eyes started to burn. He knew the tears were coming. Then the sarcasm kicked in.

"Oh yeah, Harry, get all soppy! You are such a bloody faucet! How the hell are you going to defeat Voldemort and save the whole of the wizarding world if you spend half your life bawling your eyes out about some guy that you think you love!" Harry muttered to himself.

"I do love him!" Harry shouted, accidentally.

There was a bang and a crash, and then Crabbe, the lousy oaf, fell out of the wardrobe at the end of the room. A loud sigh, and then an annoyed but slightly amused sounding voice said,

"Get up Crabbe, you clumsy troll!" Crabbe clambered to his feet slowly lifting all his burly weight, and then took a step forward. As he looked in Harry's direction, Harry, remembering that he was undressed, scrambled to cover his naked self with whatever he had around him.

Then the owner of the voice in the closet made his appearance. Draco. Draco stepped nonchalantly out of the cherry-wood wardrobe, stopped a second at the mirror to check his hair, and then walked briskly across the red and gold colored room towards a dumbfounded, naked Harry.

"'Ellow Potty, 'bit bare there aren't you?" Draco raised a lightly colored eyebrow at Harry's arse, protruding unprotected from his towel, unbeknownst to him. Harry twisted his head around to see what Draco was raising his eyebrow at, and when he saw, he turned as red as the scarlet silk bed-sheets that were hanging off his bed, and quickly covered himself up again. Harry tried to think up a witty retort, but his mind was completely blank with Draco in all his glory right in front of him.

"Ww…I… um… er…"Harry stuttered. Draco smirked.

"Brilliant comeback Potty! So, who's the crush?"

Harry froze instantly, dreading, and franticly wondering what to do.

"Wha… wha… whaaa… w-what c... c-crush?" Harry faltered.

"'I do love him!'" Draco imitated in an overly desperate voice.

"Uh… I… uh, I n-never said that!" Harry shouted hesitantly.

"Really Potty, I'm not stupid. Give it up." Draco sneered.

Then Harry finally regained his confidence, and got control of his wavering voice again.

"I don't know what you're talking about _Malfoy_!" Harry said with a glare. "And get out of our dormitories!"

Draco looked a bit surprised at first, but then he quickly covered it up again with his expressionless Malfoy mask. "Looks like our wittowe Potty heaw doesn't wanna tew his secwet!" Draco mocked in a baby voice to Crabbe and Goyle, who had just appeared out of the wardrobe.

Harry grimaced and then said "Hiding in a closet Malfoy? Brilliant if you ask me, but isn't that a little above your wizarding status, you Death Eater filth! Oh, and just wondering, how did all of you fit in there, hmm? Wasn't it a bit tight for two trolls _and_ a ferret?"

Draco, a bit stunned at how quickly Harry got a stab at both him and his sidekicks, was standing there with wide eyes, and his mouth hanging open. But what Harry didn't know, was that his brilliant comeback wasn't the only thing Draco was aghast at. For the second time that day, Draco had seen a bit more of Harry than he ever intended on seeing. In all his flourishing ripostes and in the heat of the argument, Harry had quite forgotten that he was naked and was supposed to be covering himself up with the towel that was now on the ground, having been thrown down at Harry's feet to emphasize his arguments. Harry and his _very_ naked self were hanging right out in the open, in front of Draco's eyes. And there was definitely quite a bit of Harry to see!

Draco, perversely transfixed with his enemy's Quidditch enhanced body, was unable to pull his eyes away. Harry noticed this, and smiling inside, raised an eyebrow; a talent which both the boys were amply talented at, among other things.

"GET OUT MALFOY!" Harry yelled for the second time, catching Draco by surprise.

Caught off his guard, Draco stumbled through the doorway, only remembering to motion his personal bodyguards to follow at the last second.

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Five class periods later, Harry sat in the great hall with his friends eating lunch. Today was Cinco de Mayo, and although it was a Mexican muggle holiday, the house elves had obviously taken advantage of it, and made all different sorts of Mexican foods for lunch. Ron was having a field day.

"Vish ith grit! Uh negar gek da eathish kunga shtuff ah hum!" He exclaimed with his mouth full of some sort of bean and corn dish.

Hermione rolled her eyes playfully at Ron and scolded him. "We can't understand a _single_ word you're saying Ron! Would you stop talking with your mouth full!"

Ron swallowed loudly and stuck his tongue out at Hermione. "You sound just like my mum!" He groaned.

"Would you two stop bickering!" Harry said with a smile. He almost added that they were like an old married couple, but he knew that would be going a bit too far.

With a big Quidditch game with Ravenclaw the next day, and an important Ancient Ruins exam looming over their heads, Harry had quite forgotten about his unpleasant run in with Draco that morning. Not for long however. When a giant black raven swooped down over their heads, narrowly missing Ron's left ear, and landed softly next to Harry's plate a piece of parchment hanging from its beak, Harry furrowed his brow in confusion. Harry took the parchment form the bird's beak noticing how polite it was, not pecking at any of his food without being offered it. He looked down at the parchment. There were only a few words scribbled on it, with no signature.

_Harry, _

_Meet me:_

_12:00 midnight, dungeons._

_I'll be waiting. _

The odd bird flew off without waiting for a reply, and Harry squinted and shook his head in confusion. Who could it be from? And who would be waiting for him in the dungeons? He looked around the great hall to see if anyone in there would have sent it. He caught Malfoy's eye. Malfoy gave a curt nod with a bit of a sneer, and then turned back to his house mates and continued eating.

Noticing his confused look, Hermione tilted her head at the parchment in Harry's hand and asked "who's that from?"

Harry leaned his head on his fist. "I dunno. It doesn't say."

Hermione blinked thoughtfully and asked to see it. Harry handed her the letter, and Ron leaned in to see what it said. She read it aloud.

"'Harry, meet me: 12:00 midnight, dungeons. I'll be waiting.' Harry," she said worriedly, "I don't think you should go. This is ridiculous, it could be a trick; you could get hurt! And besides, it says midnight. That's past hours, if you're caught, you could get in lots of trouble!"

"Well that's never stopped him before has it?" Ron snickered. Hermione glared at him, and then looked anxiously up at Harry and asked in her high voice.

"You won't go, will you Harry?"

"Of course not." He agreed with an apologetic look at Ron, and then continued eating his lunch.

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_Well, another chapter finished! Hope you like. Just so you know, I'll be updating this story every two days or so now, because I got it all written. However, I still appreciate reviews if you have the time, and I will add and change things if you have any good suggestions for me. Thanks for reading!_

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	3. Repudiation

_**Repudiation**_

_Hey guys, here's the next chapter. In this one there's a few different points of views, but if it gets confusing or hard to tell whose point of view it is, please let me know and I'll try to fix it. This chappie and the one after also get a little… um, smutty. But also quite violent and emotional; not exactly romantic though, so here goes!_

_P.S. Sorry it's short… and very late…_

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**Harry's POV:**

Harry couldn't sleep.

'This is useless' he thought. Harry peeled the covers from his sticky legs, and swung his body around over the edge of the tasseled bed. His mind was jumbled and full of cobwebs. He shook his head to clear it, and rubbed his unfortunately light eyelids.

Harry needed to think, and when he thought, he walked. Bending down to stretch, he closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. Harry tiptoed, so as not to wake Ron, over to his trunk. He pulled out his invisibility cloak, and his Marauder's map. His head and neck were aching, and feet were restless with the need to be in motion. Slipping his feet into his fuzzy orange polka dotted slippers; Harry pulled the invisibility cloak over his head making sure the hood was covering all of his face. He had _way_ too much on his mind.

'It's time to figure this stuff out once and for all.' He thought decisively to himself. He let his feet take control of themselves, and put his attention to his thoughts.

'If I hate Draco,' he thought, 'how can I also love him?' Harry sighed, having repeated this question over and over in his mind so many times throughout the past few weeks. Then it struck him.

"But do I hate him?" He murmured aloud. Bringing up a mental picture of Draco in his mind, Harry analyzed his feelings for the boy. There was the love, yes, and the pity for being a Death Eater's child, and the longing, and envy, and the lust, oh yes, the lust. But no, Harry couldn't find even a shimmer of hate inside himself. He supposed it must have dissolved when he started feeling the love so strongly.

Harry's feet were starting to ache, and he suddenly came to realize just how long he had been walking. He looked around, and identified his surroundings to be the dungeons. Suddenly, Harry heard a small tapping coming from behind him. He whirled around, causing his invisibility cloak to fly off his shoulders. There, leaning his head gracefully upon his hand, with the firelight flickering about his silhouette and highlighting his platinum blond hair orange, stood Draco. Their eyes met.

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**Draco's POV**

Draco sat on the cold hard stone of the dungeon hearth, waiting for Harry to arrive. He had come early, not wanting to miss Harry, and had grown apprehensive. Tensely, Draco pointed his wand at the half burnt logs in the fireplace, and immediately they were ignited and the heat of the angry flames hit Draco's face like a ton of bricks. Draco turned back to the entrance of the dungeons to watch for Harry. The searing fire warmed his back, and he soon became very comfortable in his seat. He grew weary, and shut his eyes briefly. As soon as they were shut, a picture of Harry popped up in Draco's mind. In the image, Harry's dark raven hair was resting on his forehead in a tousled manner, like he had just played a hard quiditch game. His pink lips looked well kissed, and were slightly opened. His cheeks were flushed, and he wasn't wearing his glasses. Harry's eyes were accentuated by a silver and green scarf he was wearing. Looking at his strong neck Draco soon came to realize that the scarf was the _only_ thing Harry was wearing, and Draco felt himself grow long and hard in his trousers.

Harry stepped back in Draco's mind, and Draco could see his whole body in full view now. Shamelessly, because he knew he was only imagining it, Draco inspected Harry's beautiful naked body. He was remembering it from that morning, and was still in awe at Harry's well, almost over equipped body. In his perverse scenario, Draco moved forward and bent down to touch Harry. But just as he was about to, Draco opened his eyes with a gasp, as his pelvis jerked in an orgasm. He realized he had unconsciously taken out his cock and was stroking it in need. Waves of heat went through him, and his cock ossified further, until it was as hard and hot as the stones beneath him. A few seconds later, his huge erection came into his hand like an explosion. His thick, creamy cum squirted out the end, all over his hand and trousers. Finally, after a short while, the amazing climax came to an end, and his sticky body began to itch slightly. Draco performed a quick cleaning spell, and then another one, just to be safe, and put away his equipment.

Just as he finished buttoning his trousers, he heard a rustle from the doorway, and looked up quickly. He positioned himself in a casual stance, and kept his hand on his wand, incase Harry tried to hex him. Harry was obviously wearing his invisibility cloak, he wasn't an idiot, and he couldn't be seen except for a bit of his pajama pant poking out from beneath his invisibility cloak. Draco impatiently tapped his foot, waiting for Harry to reveal himself, looking strait at the place where he thought Harry's face would be, judging by the bit of cloth on the floor. But then the bit of cloth swung around to the other side, and Harry appeared as the cloak whirled off his shoulders. Draco stared at him impatiently, and said in a dark whisper

"I thought you would never come."


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